I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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