Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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