I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
