I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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