I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
