Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Can I color on your dick again?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize