Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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