he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Houston, we have a blender
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
