I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
