All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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