Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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