Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
