Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize