it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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