Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
