just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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