I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
