I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Boobs speak an international language.
Just high enough for therapy.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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