Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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