Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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