How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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