kristin has been a bad kristin
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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