it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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