I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
