I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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