she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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