Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
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