She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
