i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
