If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize