yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
