Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Sext me about skeletons
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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