I wannas sexs uuuuu
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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