i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
