Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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