I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
