Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
