so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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