Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Everything about him screamed your future.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I love you.
Bad choice
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize