I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Sext me about skeletons
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
