To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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