Where did you get a picture of my penis
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize