and you said cock pushups were impossible
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
