Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize