I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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