Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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