Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My pussy is not your playground.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Randomize
