Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
