we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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