wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
