Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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