He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
