Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize