I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
