Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
