How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
