it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
