She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
