Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize