Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you win again, gameday.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
His hands were made for my vagina.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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