U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
