you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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