I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
