do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
