they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
