She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
