She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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